Tuesday, September 16, 2008
@ 11:00 AM
I notice n think that i have change, sometimes i feel i a bit very unreasonable, sometimes i feel i very irritating, sometimes i didn't think for others n more, sometimes i feel i very petty.. i dun know why this happening... but tats how i feel...
I really HATE myself sometimes... i dun know y.. sometimes even quarrel
wif my mum or bro... i dun know i am unreasonable or them... sometimes i even feel like leaving house n not returning home for just a day... but scared that my parents are worried for mi... sometimes i get blame when the things is not done by mi... why is this so??? when i feeling, i will cry out silently n i will let the matter rest n not thinking about it... sometimes i even feel like blogging it out, but my mind stop mi from doing so... i really dun know... i just feel that i am a person no one cares about mi in the family... No one know when i am sad...
one day i went to have a talk
wif my mum.... i asked her.. why must she always search things for my sibling if they cant find it???where as when i cant find mine i will still carry on searching it until i find my without bothering my mum... something i will purposely asked my mum did she see my stuff but she will just
ignore mi... WHY is this so... i compare my sibling vs mi when i am in their age... mhy muz my mum treat mi differently... sometimes wondering if i really thinging too much n out of the box...
The other incident is that i cant stand my bro... HE is such a petty guy i ever met... i hate him too... my house is quite dim... during the afternoon, i am doing hw at the room wif the lights on... he came in the switch off the light n open the window... which the light is still quite dim to my table... i cant do hw at his table coz he doesnt allow mi to... n say i am wasting electricity... i am sooo piss... i am in the room... not doing nothing but i am doing my hw... WHAT THE HELL LAR... the electricity also not he pay...another incident also same but this time is during the night... i am studying for my coming exam few more days away... he off my light n ask mi to u study at the living room... He is Soooooooooooooooooooo PETTY... he can get angry over someone for a week.... what the hell lar...
My mum always say... give in to my sibling... but i feel that even if i give in to them... they will not give in to mi... so sometimes i wondering should i give in... Giving in will i really bring peace n harmony to my family...
okay i should stop here...
will update sun outing wif 38club once i got the pic... miss them lots..
